It's a Crazy World We Live In....

....especially when you live in Downtown Dallas.

So last Sunday when I was taking Sylvester outside to do his 'bidness' I was across the street at a big patch of grass. While I was outside waiting for him to finish, I heard some whistling. So ignored it, like I usually do...but it wouldn't stop. So I start looking around for who was whistling and couldn't find anyone. Well, Thank God I had my sunglasses on because there is a parking garage across the street from the grass. I happen to look up towards the garage without moving my head and I saw.......a NAKED MAN.

That's right, NAKED. Well, I guess not completely naked. He had a blue and white tank top on that he had pulled up to his chin. With his other hand, he was holding on to his junk. Since he didn't see that I saw, he kept his stuff covered. Then a big group of people came by and he disappeared.

Fast forward to tonight....

So I get home after having a drink with two of my coworkers and I take Sylvester out again to the patch of grass. I am on the phone with Julie chatting when all of a sudden I look towards the garage and I see my favorite NAKED MAN. Except this time, he left the shirt at home and was completely naked. Well, I guess he was wearing shoes and a ball cap but there was a lot skin to be seen.

So I ask Julie to send me the non emergency number to the Police. When I am about to call, two women walk up to me and start petting my dog. So I dial, the number doesn't work and the women are going gaga over the dog with the crazy naked man behind them in the parking garage. I, of course, want to protect their diginity and tell them in a calm voice that their is a naked man behind them trying to show his junk, so don't turn around. At that time, I call 911. While I am on the phone, my buddy figures out what I am doing and disappears into the garage again.

At this point the ladies are 'safe' and they leave. I call Julie to give her an update when I see a cop across the street in front of my apartment complex. So I grab the dog and run over to the cop. I start talking to the cop and telling him about my NM situation. He tells me, "Well, I would go look for him but someone in this apartment complex tried to commit suicide, so I guess I need to stay here. I mean she is alright but I need to stay here." So my new cop friend calls 4 of his bike cop friends over. They get my story and investigate the parking garage. All while my original cop friends and I watch as the girl who ate too many pills is being taken away in an ambulance.

So yeah, that was my night when I got home today. Naked Guy and crazy girl all in 20 minutes. Needless to say, I guess I will be investing in some Mace to either spray at NM or in my own eyes so I don't have to see his junk.