The Lent Contract

Over Happy Hour last night at Zymology, Mary Beth and I started to discuss Lent and what we would try to give up this year. Right now, I am sure you are scratching your head thinking…when did Stephanie become Catholic? Wait, when did Stephanie become religious? Wait….why wasn’t I invited to Happy Hour? Well, to answer the questions. I did not convert to Catholicism and I am not all that religious, but I do like to give up something for Lent. As for Happy Hour, you can come any time you want…

So after a half a bottle of wine each, Mary Beth came up with a contract for us….on receipt paper. We wanted to make sure it was formal, hence the wording. Here is the original:

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

For those of you who can’t read what it says, I am pretty sure I agreed to the following:

FOR LENT

This contract heretofore within states & legally documents the binding agreement between the Mary Beth and the Stephanie in Bethanie to the following:

1. No candy;
2. No fast food; (anything with a drive thru)
3. No fried foods;

Under penalty of no shopping for shoes or clothes or accessories for 40 days. (muahahahahaha!!)


Scribble known as MB’s signature
Signed, & agreed & understood

More legible Stephanie signature
Signed, & agreed & understood


And of course along the side is the bartender (Ben’s) signature as our witness.

So make sure you keep me in line for Lent because I don’t want to lose my shopping privileges!

Bet You Wish You Had These Dance Moves...

Last night two of my friends from work, Julie and Courtney, and I decided to up our work out routines and take a dance class for fitness. Nope, it wasn't hip hop, ballet nor a typical dance class. We all signed up and took Pole Dancing Exotic Fusion at the Girls Room on Lower Greenville.

As soon as work was over, we all changed into our slut gear...tight pants and shirts...and ran off to Lower Greenville. We stopped into Ben's bar beforehand and contemplated downing a couple of beers to help our confindence level. Lucky for us, we walked into the class stone sober.

Of course, we all lined up next to each other at our own poles in the back of the class. Then of course, the dreaded question came..."Who all has never been here before?" All three of our hands rose...therefore all three of us were split up. I was paired up with one of the workers of the Girls Room, Courtney was paired up with the instructor and Julie miraculously was by herself.

On to the pole playing...

We started stretching and loosening up for our awesome exotic dance moves. We all followed along with instructor all the while hoping her 'teasers' wouldn't pop out of her top. After stretching she went over the basics...setting our tables.

We all moved up to the pole and learned the finishing move of all dancers. You pretty much lean into the pole, bring your 'teasers' close, roll your tummy in and then you know what comes next...the 'pleaser.' After your roll your pleaser near the pole, you then stick out your butt and set the table....and as the instructor told us...take your time because this is when you get your money. Let's just say, my table setting was not very sexy and may have looked as though I was having a seizure while trying to hold onto a stripper pole.

After our table setting lesson, it was onto the pole twirling. We learned the dragon, the chair and even the warrior. We swung around and landed 'gracefully' at the bottom of the spin and finished our move with a couple of table sets. My partner was impressed by my 'newbie' skills and maybe even my table setting....not so much Courtney and Julie. Apparently I got really into my moves that I didn't know my inner stripper was trying to come out....through my backside. My pants apparently came down a bit and showed the world my polka dotted thong. Not just a little bit as Julie put it, but I had the 'Golden Arches' on display. Nice.

After our pole spins and crazy table setting with lunges and leg kicks, it was on to the floor work. Sweet Dear Jesus...I am not sure how I made it through the last 30 minutes of class. We did crazy leg lifts and an ab work out that was all stripified. Right when we thought we couldn't crunch any more, we had to do the move in Stripper time....which meant 10 times slower than normal.

Needless to say, Julie, Courtney and I all made it through the hour class a little more sweaty, a lot more sore and weak and hopefully with an extra sex appeal. I was inspired by the work out so much, I signed up for a month's membership. Now I can look forward to learning more pole moves, sexy yoga and maybe even Burlesque if I save up enough money for specialty classes.

So as we hobbled down the stairs on extremely shakey legs, the other girls decided to join me for some more classes during my membership. There was also some talk of getting some poles to perfect our moves.

So if you are female and want to try a crazy new work out, come join me....I'll be the girl with the Blue Whale Tail hanging out of my pants. ;)

Valentine's Day

For Valentine's Day this year, Ben and I decided to forego the expensive gifts and go for the cheesiest gifts we could find for $30. Best idea ever.

I went to the most expensive store to find my gifts for him. Big Lots had a great selection of cheesy gifts. I picked out a huge card, a fuzzy box in the shape of lips, candy for inside the box and picture frame. Then on Saturday morning, before Ben got out of bed, I went to Albertson's and picked up some stuff for breakfast and bought a huge balloon that 'sings' when you tap it. It was pure greatness.

Over banana pancakes and juice, Ben I exchanged our gifts. He got me a huge card (he copied me), an awesome cheap heart necklace, heart stamps and a box of chocolates. It was nice, simple and cheesy. It was an awesome start to Valentine's day.

I also met Ben's dad, step-mother and two younger brothers as well. We had an awesome lunch at Ben's restaurant/bar. Unfortunately for me, I did not get to drown my nerves with a bottle of wine. I had to be on my best behavior.....yeah, had any of my friends walked in at that time they would not recognize me.

Then my Valentine's day really took off...

Richard, Sid and Nehal all came into town to party it up Dallas style. We all met at my apartment, drank a little bit of Ben's good alcohol (one of the many benefits to living with him) and then headed of to Zymology. That's right, twice in one day, baby. After dinner and a few drinks we need to test out our dance moves.

We took the advice of Tyre and headed off to Madison Ave. Just as Tyre predicted it was packed with the lovely ladies and had loud music. After many trips to the bar, I began to highly enjoy myself. I demonstrated my cool new dance moves, tried to help my boys hit on the ladies and even went ninja style and stole a 'sip' of someone's fresh drink.

When 1:45 AM rolled around, it was definitely time for me to go. I closed my tab and all of us headed for the recap at the apartment. Ben finally go home....we enjoyed more of his good alcohol and finally passed out. Needless to say, it was the Best Valentine's Day I have ever had.

Except when I went to lunch today and tried to use my credit card. I found out that one of the bartenders gave me Ms. Limket card. She apparently got my card today and went to eat at Dickey's BBQ..... So once again, another canceled debit card and another 'fraud' ding on my report. Yay credit fun!

Here are some pics from Valentine's morning. If Nehal ever sends me some pics, I will upload dance party ones.

The pancakes I made (I know, crazy...I cooked!):

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

Ben's Card:

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

His presents:

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

His Balloon:

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

My gifts and card:

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

Paintball Fun

For his birthday, Richard decided he wanted to get a big group of people together for some Paintball action. So when I was given the opportunity to run around and shoot some of my close friends, I jumped on it immediately.

Before last Saturday I have only been paintballing one other time. It was in high school and the only thing I remember from it was getting dirty and having an awesome bruise somewhere on my body. Oh yeah, and there were some pictures as well. Now it was time for some more memories.

Usually, I would prepare for the big event by hitting up the Army Surplus stores and buying the perfect camo outfit. Unfortunately the move into the new place has depleted my bank account….plus I figured Ben might have some camo pants. Nope, I was wrong he just had the camo shorts he bought for another theme event.

So morning of the big event, I get up, shower, put on my make up (just because I will be getting gross and muddy is no excuse to not to have pretty face. ;) ), and put on some work out clothes in all black. That’s right, Ninja Stephanie was going to be on the field.

I picked up Ryan, Ben’s roommate, and headed out to Fort Worth for the festivities. We got to the place and kind of stood around for 30 minutes and watched all the professionals walking around in their top of the line paintball clothes, extra weaponry and kick ass guns all the while praying that we would not be playing against these guys. Did I mention they were also about 10 years old? Uh huh. They were that scary.

The official refs of the game give us the low down on the rules and divide us into teams. Thank God Whitey and Ryan were both on my team because they were trying to scheme how many shots they were going to take on me.

The first two rounds we played I was super sniper girl. I mean who can see me when I am dressed all in black in the daylight. That’s right….everyone. I still managed to not ever get hit and took out a couple of trees, grass and I think some of my splatter got an actual girl out.

After the first couple of games, Whitey and I decided it wasn’t fun to not get shot so we planned our first suicide missions. Oh yeah, we were going to run out back to back, scream at the top of our lungs and shoot the crap out of the opposite team. On our third game, we were hiding out behind some huge spool ready to go when Whitey goes to take one shot and someone takes out his hand. 5 seconds into the game and he loses due to a lucky shot. No suicide mission for Whitey. So it is left to me. I run out, try to scream and realize I can’t because I am completely out of breath and make my way up the hill. Within 2 seconds, I take a shot to the leg. Now, I am out. Oh well, I got hit. It didn’t hurt too badly and I will probably have a nice bruise to prove I played.

Now on to the final game. At this point we are all pretty low on ammo, except Whitey because he didn’t get one shot out from the last game, so we decide that we will play till we run out of paint. Pretty much, if you get shot and you still want to play…continue until you can’t shoot anyone any more. So I make the speech to alert everyone of the new rules. Here is an excerpt: “Rule #1: If you get shot, suck it up. Shoot until you run out of ammo and then you can surrender.”

Once again, Whitey and I decide to employ some Rambo moves and rolls and other tactical exercises for the last game. My blood is pumping, I am pratically already out of breath from the thought of running again and finally hear the whistle blow. I go to run out and shoot everyone in site when all of a sudden I find myself flat on my stomach and my face in the mud. That’s right….I tripped on a root right in front of me. By the time I get myself back up, it sounds like everyone traded in their guns for semi automatics. Sure enough, my run to cover was painful. The whole left side of my body was covered in paint by the time I slid in next to Whitey. Not only were my leg and arm throbbing but so was my left ear. Yep, I took a bullet to the head. One shot versus 10 shots hurt a helluva lot more. The worst part about the whole thing was the safety on my gun was ON the entire time.

I laid down and recovered for a couple of minutes before I started taking shots on the opposing team. Any time a bit of my body was exposed, it was shot. At this time, I wanted to give up…as did Whitey. We continued on until we ran out of paint. I finally got to surrender. Yay for me! As I was walking to safety, I felt someone shoot me on my leg. From behind. Yep, that’s right. Apparently my little speech before the game pissed one of my team members off so he shot me. Note to self, not everyone knows you and understands your humor…..make sure jokes are made away from paintball guns. :)

Needless to say, I left the game with about 8 big bruises on my body and clear understanding that I really need to get into shape. I had a great time though and am kind of looking forward to the next time.

ZYMOLOGY

As most of you know my boyfriend Ben has been working very hard to open his first Bar/Restaurant. Well, the day has finally come that the doors of Zymology are OPEN. TODAY!

So here is a little background, Ben wanted to take a beer bar, like the Flying Saucer,and a wine bar, like Veritas, and combine the two in one bar. So when you go to Zymology you can expect, 20 bottle beers and 20 different beers on tap as well 40 different bottles of wine, from an extremely smooth Pinot Noir to Ports to a fancy Riesling made from hand picked grapes.

To top off the great beer and wine list, Zymology also offers a full menu. Don't expect your everyday bar food. You will find pizza made in a wood burning stove, a Pablano Artichoke Dip, yummy pork chops and a lot more.

In summary, everything is great so you should check it out and tell all of your friends about it. Also, whenever you can make it out to Dallas come hang out with me. I will be the lonely girl at the end of bar drinking a glass of Riesling. :)

Here are some important info you may need:
Zymology
2010A Greenville Ave.
Dallas, TX 75206
214-954-7171
http://www.zymologydallas.com/ (under construction-ish)

See ya there!

31 Days

So the other day when I miraculously had some down time at work, I read this article on MSN:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/staticslideshowglamour.aspx?cp-documentid=15188306&GT1=32001

I thought it was pretty interesting. I am all about some short time goals and figured I would give it a try. So here are my easy goals for 31 days.

Do 10 sit ups every day for 31 Days.
Do 10 push ups every day for 31 Days.
Wash my face every night for 31 Days.
Make sure my nails are painted every day for 31 Days.

I know they are simple goals but that is the whole point. I will let you know if there are any dramatic changes in my life. Want to join in my 31 Day fun? Let me know what you plan on doing.

Where Have I Been?

So once again, I procrastinated writing a blog and didn’t update all of my fellow readers (that’s right, only 2 of you.) If it makes it any better, I did write a few blogs in my head….I just never got them on the computer. :)

So here is a quick update of the last couple of weeks:

Yay Christmas! Had a great Christmas and great gifts. Here are few: A roomba! (Yeah, you know you are old when you are excited about a vacuum cleaner), a huge hard drive for my computer, shiny new boots, 2 new pairs of Aldo Heels, Black and White diamond skull necklace, picture frame, Partini and other fun stuff. Oh yeah, my mom also booked a room for Ben and I at a Haunted Hotel where they hold a Murder Mystery!

For Christmas I bought my mother tickets to see Annie at the Bass Hall. It was a good production but I had a major complaint. Annie had STRAIGHT hair! What kind of crap is that? Finally at the end when she got all ‘dolled up’ did they curled her hair. Sorry buddy, straight haired Annie sucks.

NYE: We had so much fun on New Years. We had a couple of people come over to my apartment for drinks and games. Then we headed over to Victory Park in Downtown and joined the huge crowd and watched the fireworks. Then it was fighting the 10,000 drunks back to the DART. Good times.

Murder Mystery in Oklahoma: Ben and I had to get dressed up in 40s outfits and had to play characters. Ben was a mobster named Michael Morelli and I was…..Easy Windgate. Believe it or not, but I was not a Porn Star. Needless to say it was held in a haunted hotel. I am pretty sure we had some ghostly experiences. Guess we will just have to go back sometime…

Casey Turns 30: Ben and I also celebrated my Gay Husband’s 30th birthday. We had a fantastic time at Cyclones Anayas where the margaritas are the size of your head and then we were off the Strip. So a night of Drag Queens, drinks and other dirty things was the only way Casey would roll into his 30s.

Hip Hop with Julie: When I was younger, I did ballet. It is very technical and your hands, feet, hips and butt all have a place to be at a certain beat. I loved it. So Julie and I checked out the Hip Hop class here in Dallas given by the Dallas Maverick Cheerleaders. It pretty much just solidified that I will never be a hip hop dancer. Let’s just say the steps don’t have fancy names and you aren’t taught on beats or counts. You are actually told to do a ‘What’s Up’ on the certain word in the song. Julie was awesome and really got into the ‘Pops’ and ‘Head Rolls.’ Needless to say one of the longest hours of my life. The experience did however entertain our office for an entire week. I even witnessed the infamous Jay James doing a ‘What’s Up’ in his office.

Ben and I also finally went and saw the King Tut exhibit. ROBBERY!!!! We didn’t really read up on what the exhibit was about and went expecting to see a dead body and some fancy face masks. Nope! No King Tut. Just some very random stuff that was in his tomb. Interesting, but I could have lived without seeing it. Good thing we went on the Cheap Night. The saving grace of the night was the awesome art/light show they have by Elliason. Worth going to and seeing, but if you don’t want to pay…go on Thurdsay. It is free. :)


Weird Experience of the Month: I went to a going away party for some of Ben’s friends. They all used to work or work at Freebirds so most of them are Aggies. At the party, I saw some guy that I knew from A&M. I couldn’t place him and finally we had a discussion of how we knew each other. He proceeded to tell me that we had actually made out once in College at that he was friends with my old roommate’s friends. I then asked why we never hung out afterwards….His reply “Well, you kind of ignored me..” Ooops. Yeah, that would be a typical response of mine in college. Sorry!

Darrah’s Bridal Shower: Darrah is one of my good friends from college. So when she had one of her Bridal Showers I showed up expecting some of her other friends and my coworkers to be there. Little did I know I would be the only friend that showed up. The shower consisted of her future in laws friends and family, Darrah and her mom….oh yeah, and me. Only friend there. Needless to say, most awkward TWO hours of my life. Can’t wait for the wedding though!

One Year: Ben and I also celebrated our One year anniversary of Dating. I still can’t believe he is able to put up with me for so long. He is the most patient and understanding person I have ever met. So for our celebration, he had me meet him at his Bar/Restaurant. As we were walking up to the rooftop patio, he let me open my present: The Fifth Season of Nip/Tuck. Then as we walk further on to the patio, I see that he has set up a projector and screen, two chairs with two blankets and champagne. So we watched people get cut up and have dirty ‘relations’ under the stars. Aw, romance! Then he had one of his new employees bring us some of our favorite things from two restaurants: Twice baked potato from Sambuca and Macaroni and cheese from Morton’s. Yum! We followed the night up with some wine at Veritas. Wonderful celebration. :)

Moving In: I guess to even continue with the celebration, Ben and I moved in together this past weekend. Let’s just say I own a lot of crap and amazed at the fact that it all multiplied in the 2 years I was at my last apartment. So as soon as the new place is presentable, expect some pictures and get togethers. Also, if you are ever Downtown Dallas, swing on by and say hello!

That’s it for now! Once again, I will try and be better at the whole writing a blog thing.

*This blog is dedicated to Google Calendars. Thank you for organizing my life and helping me remember what I have done for the past 6 weeks so I can update everyone. :)