The search for the Perfect Apartment...

My clothes don't fit. No, not my body but my apartment. I have fought with the same closest for the last couple of years and I still can not find, see nor put away all of my clothes. So there is only one solution for my problem. A new apartment. :)

Since my lease is up this coming February, I have started looking for the perfect closet and living quarters. First I decided I would scale down in my rent and look for the perfect steal, pay less rent and get a bigger space but not live quite so close to downtown or all the cool places around Dallas. Then the elitist in me decided to shine on through. I had to live downtown or as close to it as possible without having to take out a loan for rent.

So I looked at a gorgeous loft in Deep Ellum. It was beautiful. The closet was a small room. Mary Beth looked with me and decided it would be her room. No problem with me as long as she wanted to live with all of my clothes. Of course, being a good home 'buyer' we looked at more lofts around town. Nothing lived up to the gorgeous closet in Deep Ellum.

Two weekends after falling in love, I decided to show Ben what would probably be my new digs. Yes, it would cost me an arm and leg in rent. Yes, it was freezing in the Texas 'winter' and yes, I heard that the walls were really thin and you could hear your neighbors TV.....but, it had the closet. I loved it. I dreamed about it at night. So I showed Ben. He hated it. He pointed out the old appliances, the lack of parking and the high rent, again. So, I decided to keep looking...

That same day Ben and I went to the Camden Apartments in Downtwon Dallas. We went into the leasing office and met Kevin. I told him I was interested in a 1 bedroom apartment and didn't want to spend more than $900. So he showed me the floor plans with some beautiful closets. And as you all know me, when I get excited I get animated. I started saying I loved closets and starting making little circles around them on the floor plan. Apparently Kevin thought this was weird and called me out on it, asking Ben if I always did this. Which of course was an affirmative answer from Ben. Needless to say, I got excited about something else....and that is when it happened. Kevin started mocking me and making small circles with his finger in front of my face and then leaned across his desk and scratch behind my ear. Wha!?! Did he really just do that? Yeah! He did. So, I played it off like no biggie and I think Ben was too taken aback to say anything.

The Camden Apartments have a great deal going on. So I decided to ask about their two bedrooms just in case Ben and I decide we ever wanted to live there. Kevin wanted to have none of that. He actually said, "Let's just focus on you right now." Even though, I was the one who wanted to know. Hell, he even would have made a bigger sale! Ben even tried to get a price range for him and his roommate to look at. Kevin spat out a number and then brushed him off.

Speaking of brushes.....when we finally hopped in the golf cart to check out the property. Somebody's elbow happened to accidently brush my chest...and that somebody's elbow wasn't Ben's.

More things happened...Kevin showed me pictures of his dog and him on his phone. When Ben tried to look, he quickly shut his phone. Then he told me how we would be neighbors and where his apartment was. How if I rented this one apartment he would be right below me....

Finally, when we looked at another apartment we reached a gate. Kevin politely opened the gate for me and let me walk through. Then when Ben tried to walk in after me, Kevin tried to cut him off and walk in. So there they are walking through the gate shoulder to shoulder trailing behind me. Needless to say, the creepy factor of Kevin was enough for me never to want to rent an apartment there. I am not of big fan of being killed in my sleep by the apartment leasing guy.

Lucky for me I found the perfect place. It is in the heart of Downtown Dallas; it has a huge walk in closet and great rent price. Even better it comes with the perfect roommate.....Ben.

Personally bringing down the Credit Card Industry....

So about two years ago, I found out that there was another Stephanie Lemke running around the DFW area. That's not cool...I should be the ONLY Stephanie Lemke in DFW. It wouldn't be so bad if her parents decided that Stephanie Lemke is a kick ass name and named her that....but they didn't. They called her something else. She just happen to fall upon MY personal information.

She was AMAZING with numbers. She got my Social Security Number, my birthdate...even my TX driver's license number. Like I said, good with numbers. She was so good with numbers that she managed to rack thousands of dollars of charges under my name and information. Lucky for me, my credit didn't suffer. I didn't just pay off the charges that were coming through and I filed a police report. Take that Biatch! Well, lucky me some officer in Haltom City happened to pull over Stephanie Lemke and found a copy of my driver's license and other information. I promptly pressed charges and haven't had a problem since.....

.....Oh, wait.... yes, I did.

I didn't have a problem with the infamous Stephanie Lemke, but someone who loves Apple decided that they were going to hack into my Apple account and steal my debit card information. Yep, they ordered two 50 gift cards for themselves. Well, little did they know that I watch my account like a hawk. It's not my fault I have to check every day if I have enough money for the vending machine..... Needless to say, I fought the charge, Apple gave me my money back and my little unknown friend never got their gift cards....

Think it's over....not quite....

So when I got my new job at Freeman, I applied for my Corporate Credit Card with American Express. I received my "Welcome to American Express" letter at the office but no card. Well, with a new job, that was the last thing on my mind was to find the credit card. I assure you it was the first thing on my mind this morning when I checked my voicemail at work.

I received a phone call from American Express this morning wondering about some charges on my card. Oh wait, the card that I am still waiting for? You know the one that is directly related to my personal credit? Yeah, that one. Sorry, to break it to you Amex but those charges aren't mine.

Stephanie, are you sure you didn't rack up some $4500 worth of charges in Malaysia? Home theater? No? Uh oh....

So there it is. My card was intercepted somewhere between my desk and American Express. Now someone isn't going to be receiving their new Home Theater from Malaysia. All charges have been marked fraudulent and I am getting a new card tomorrow. God, I am lucky.

So if you are worried about identity theft or stolen credit cards, try to stay at least 50 ft away from me. I think my presence is dangerous to the Credit Card industry. Sorry, America.

Ghoulish Weekend

Well, we just finished the 'scariest' weekend of the year. This year Ben, Mary Beth and I celebrated in the only way it should be done. In full costume in the Gayberhood. Where else can you see the best costumes and get great drink prices? We hopped in and out of the bars with Jon and Erych and some of the their friends and had a great time. As always, Jon and Erych put a lot of effort into their costumes and they were flawless.



Nothing completes a scary weekend without telling a few ghost stories and maybe even looking for a few ghosts of your own. As I have found out, Dallas has a few ghost legends of its own. One being the Lady of the Water at White Rock lake. She is one of those ghost who comes up to young lovers cars, drenched and asks for a ride. When they give her a ride, she disappears and there is nothing but a wet seat. She can also be seen walking around the lake. Sounds like a great idea for a Saturday night, huh?



So sure enough after Jon's birthday celebration dinner, Jon, Erych, Ben and I all hop into Ben's car and make our way out to White Rock lake. We are there with the essentials....digital camera, candles for a possible seance, sage stick and a lighter.... After driving around the lake for 30 min (at times too scared to even roll down the windows), we finally convince ourselves that we are going to step out of the car. Baby steps. Ben insists on leaving the car running with all of the doors open for a quick escape from the White Rock Ghost. Who knows what she is going to do....slime us with water perhaps?

Finally after a couple of minutes we decide to shut off the car, shut the doors and maybe light the candles. Ben and I are still at the edge of our feet ready to flee if we see anything. After a couple of trys with the candles and Jon and Erych pleading for Ben and I to stay in one place and not run to the car any more.....we start our seance......and......nothing. The candles go out a couple of times and we hear some lapping of the water which we decided could have been watery foot steps? Needless to say....we didn't conjure up any ghost nor see anything crazy.

But wait.....

Remember the digital camera? I took random pictures the entire time we were outside and we all looked at them on the way back home. We finally got our ghost (at least that is what we are calling it). So here is what we found:

In a series of pictures, I took two pictures, one directly after the other. The first shows our apparition and next shows it leaving maybe? You decide. I have even provided a close up of our friend:

1st Pic - notice the Orb

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

2nd pic directly after - Orb leaving? Gone?

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

Close up of the Orb:

From Not So Secret World of Stephanie

So that was our fun. Once again, I was scared to go to my once haunted apartment. I was even too scared to sleep. All was well though, I slept fine and my overhead light never turned on in the night....

In Shape Stephanie, here I come....

As you may know, I am going to the Dominican Republic for Darrah's wedding here in a couple of months. All people have different ways of preparing for a trip to a new country....making sure they have a passport, brushing up on their Spanish, looking for excursions to experience.... Not Mary Beth and I. We are on a mission to get SKINNY! And by skinny, we all know that my bones would never fit into a size 6, but I would love to be able to tone up my saddlebags and wings.

So starting last Monday, Mary Beth and I have been going to the gym at our Corporate office. We started the first day with some fun on the eliptical and then some free weights. 6 months ago, I was a hoss. Free weights for 15 min...No problem. Eliptical? Please, I will run. Now I just want to cry at how out of shape I am. I was sore from the 5 min of lifting up my own fat butt from the ground, let alone a 5 lb dumbell.

You have to start somewhere though. So we have walked for the past two days and are really focused on getting back into shape. We are even planning on working out on Fridays after work. That is dedication. So feel free to send encouraging words for my Get In Shape plan for the next couple of months and hopefully beyond that. If all else fails, I will go to the tanning bed, because everyone knows tan fat looks better than white fat......

I am getting old....

The weekend started off with the most awkward fashion show on Thursday night. Let's just say me and my 4 girl friends weren't very well received at the show, but I wouldn't have given up going up for the world. We saw Dallas' up and coming couture models who really focused on their awesome poses and moves down the 6 foot runway. I would try to explain it but you really had to be there.....but the problem is I am getting old. I had one drink at the bar because I knew I had to be at work the next day. We also left at 9:30 and I am pretty sure I was in bed by 11.

Fast forward to Friday... I really wanted to take a nap as soon as I got home from work because MB and I were going to see MSTRKRFT at House of Blues. The show started at 11. Oh dear god, on a Friday? After work? Well, no nap for me but we were cool enough to hang out until 2:45. So I kind of got "not so old" points but here is the thing...my friend Randy had met the DJs a year ago and they recognized him. I knew he was going to be able to hang out with them back stage, but I decided to peace out of HOB as soon as possible so I could sleep. I would have punched myself in the face for that 2 years ago.

And now Saturday....this was bad. I actually was hoping to stay in. All I wanted to do was hang out on the couch and play on line Texas Hold Em! Agh, not only OLD but now a NERD!!! Thank God it wasn't a possiblity because we helped celebrate John's birthday. So we went dancing and drinking. Funzies....but honestly I wanted to go home because my "long" weekend of partying caught up with me and I was sick....and not the cool drunk sick, but the ""Oh Dear God, somebody punch me in the face so that my head and sinuses will hurt for a reason." Trust me when I say 2 AM couldn't come fast enough....

Needless to say, I have spent the entire day inside on Sunday. Coughing, sneezing and wishing for Death all day long. Now I have to hope my body is ready for a work week because I am still waiting for those benefits to kick in......

What!?! When did October get here......

Well as you can see I have been slacking off on writing my blog. Mostly it is because I got a new job and that new job actually requires work out of me. What is that all about? Even if they weren't actually utilizing my awesome skills, they blocked blogspot so it forces me to be a productive member of the team.

So as you can see I left Neiman's and am now at Freeman. It is a crazy thing working in an office where I am not the youngest one by 15 years. So now rather than talk about mortgages and going to bed at nine, the office is filled with conversations about the really important things in life: lip gloss and shoes. Yeah, needless to say I fit in REAL well.

What else has been going on? I have booked another fantastic vacation because my dear friend Darrah got engaged and decided Texas wasn't good enough to get married in....so we are off to the Dominican Republic for fun in the sun, drinking....and oh yeah, true love. So pretty much what that means is I have given up all food and will think about exercising in my apartment's gym. Excerise in my mind is the same thing, right?

Ben also turned 31 this month. And in true fashion I decided to party really hard for him. We went to Austin, hung out with my family and his friends and tried to drink all of the liquor in Austin before it ran out. I think I was the most worried about the lack of liquid greatness, so I was drinking it up real fast. Little did I know that it wasn't really necessary.... so the next morning/afternoon was fantastic when my first activity out in public was throwing up in the handicap stall in TGI Fridays. I am sure Ben was real proud of his girlfriend at that moment. So I made it up to him on his actual birthday and thanks to my friends I was able to pull off his best birthday ever....

Just to make sure that my liver didn't have enough fun in October, Mary Beth also had a birthday. We went to the winery in Downtown Dallas and we got to make our own batch of Pinot Noir and also got to taste other wines as well. Awesome times of course, so then we headed over to dinner and without my knowledge we ended up eating in the middle of a club/dance floor at Manny's Uptown Tex Mex. It turned into who had the loudest birthday crowd, lucky (or unlucky...youwill have to ask her) for MB she had Daryl and I at her table. Needless to say we were the loudest and most willing to dance our butts off for fun. So I hope she had a great time because I know I did.

Otherwise the only thing coming up is my 2nd favorite holiday...Halloween. So that means tons of costumes, a trip to some haunted houses and making sure that I partake in any alcohol shortage scare in Dallas. So if you wanna join in some fun times, let me know.

That's it for now. I promise it won't take multiple people to remind me that I haven't blogged in a while to write again.

Thank you for making it easier....

I thought it was going to be tough to give my notice especially since our industry and company aren't doing so well. I thought I would bust my ass just to make sure it would be an easy transition for whomever sits at my desk next. And most of all, I thought you guys just might care. So thank you for making it easier for me to walk out the door.

Thanks for coming by my desk and asking how my life was and pretend to genuinely care. I told you all about my boyfriend and how wonderful he is...and I am pretty sure you were gunning for a proposal? Thanks for really getting to know who I am, since that would be the last thing I wanted on my birthday. Thanks for making me believe that you wanted to know all about the trips I planned throughout the 2 and half years I was here and even wanting to see some pictures. You sure did fool me. Because I kept waiting for you to come by yesterday or today and find out what my next steps in life are. So when you gave 1.3 seconds of your day today just to say good morning, I realized that I won't be missed by you. So thanks for making it easier to walk out the door.

As for you my good buddy, I can't wait to get out here because of you. I love the fact that you HATE my enthusiam for things in my life like trips to Vegas and hot pink shoes. I am happy that you never have to hear me laugh at lunch outside of the office ever again. Now you don't have to point out how loud I am, when I am sure that was the first time you ever heard my voice raise over the volume of a controlled whisper. I am glad that I don't have to walk around like the shell of a person you wanted me to be because it just didn't fit how everyone is supposed to act here at work. I will miss how you made me and some of my other coworkers feel as if we just didn't matter. In your eyes, we mean nothing to this department and we are only here to do the bidding of your golden agents. So I really mean it when I say THANK YOU for making it the easiest on me.

I will not miss either of you.

Thanks again. This is going to be a great two weeks. :)

Not enough room in the Trailer Park

Over the weekend was the long anticipated return of GayBingo and what a glorious return it was. We started off the night with Trash Can punch and trailer trash snacks (easy cheese and crackers, spam and even Twinkies!) at my apartment and went into the first of many photo shoots. Best part about it was we had practically 100% participation in the costume fun! Congrats to the big winners. My mom who won a whopping $61 because she had to share with the other winners. Erych who won 2 tickets to something and Roland for winning $30 or something like that. And an honorary mention to Ben, who probably would have won over $200 but was too distracted by shiny things. At least he didn't go to Jail. :)

And now for your viewing pleasure, I present the Classiest Folks in all of Dallas:

Snackies:


Original Gay Bingo-ers:


My mom and Me:


Ben and I:


My Midgets and Me:


Click on any of the pics to see more!

What a weekend....

So after YT's send off party, Ben was great enough to drive the 3 hours to Katy's lake house....at 11:30 at night. I tried to do my best to stay awake to entertain him, but apparently dreaming about talking to someone while they are driving and actually doing it are two different things. Clap even tried add to the conversation and by that just repeat the last sentence he heard and then pass back out.

So we finally get to the Lake around 2 am and by now I am wide awake. So while Ben scavenges for a bed to sleep in, I try to wake up everyone in the house for an after party. That didn't go over so well, so I too went to sleep again.

Of course we are up early and little did I know, but Clap decided it was going to be Spring Break 08 on the dock. As he enjoyed his Drink of the Future and I enjoyed my Summertime at 9 AM, it wasn't long until we were reminiscing of the good ol' days at A&M. In between, we even made it out on the boat. I am surprised the Olympics did not recruit both Clap and I to be on some Water Skiing team (is that even an Olympic event?) because we were AWESOME! Clap showed us a 10 on the Holding-On-To-The-Rope-For-Dear-Life-Even-After-You-Have-Lost-Your-Skiis event. I of course won for the Best Impersonation of a Drunk Person on Skiis (even though I was sober). That's right, I skiied for all of 5 seconds this year. Much better than the 2 seconds I sported Memorial Day.

We then gorged ourselves silly on Hamburgers, hot dogs and even more Drink of the Future and Summertime...where I learned that my sense of humor does not translate well if you have never met me. So I apologize to the ladies for calling them Lesbians. I didn't realize this would make you not want to hang around me for the rest of the day.

So what is the best thing to do after eating and drinking a lot? That's right go Tubing. Ben and I then tied for 1st on Most Time to Get on a Tube. Then of course Ben had to upstage me by having the best Skipping on the water by the seat of your pants/Wipeout. I couldn't compete. I just tumbled a lot and almost lost my bathing suit bottoms. Leave it up to Brent though to have the Shortest Time on the Tube even though he was going for best Wipeout.

This of course is when we all realized we weren't in College anymore. After eating Frozen pizza, most of us either watched the pre season football game or retired to our rooms and read. Oh dear! My 21 yr old self would have punched me in the face.

It was a great weekend though. And to top off the Lake fun. We saw a little gem of Garden decorating on the way home. Move over pink flamingos......



We now have Mannequins!

Come Back, YT....come back.

YT has had a lot of titles in life. Funniest guy I know, One of My Most Favorite People and also Smartest Guy I Know. One day YT decided that he no longer wanted to be an Engineer. You may think working on airplanes and hellicopters wasn't challenging enough for him, or maybe it was just not the right job, but we all know YT wanted to get back to the ladies and the good ol' days of College.

Now he could have gone down the same path as his friends and gotten a Master's in Business, but that's not challenging enough for the Smartest Guy I Know. So YT decided to go to Law School. So off he goes to his Arch Rival school, Texas, and should be starting classes this week.

Of course in Fort Worth Boy style, YT had a his send off party this weekend. There was tons alcohol, great fajitas by the world famous Louie and papparazzi style photos by me. The night started off reminiscent of college with a game of Presidents and @$$holes and I am sure ended with some Keg stands. We also had a wonderful slide show of YT through the years and ending the with Greatest Padre Video Ever. It was a great end to his days in Fort Worth and hopefully a good beginning to his days as a student. We are going to miss you, YT. Try not to delete my number again...so we can hang out when I go down to Austin.

Thank God they didn't dance like this when I was in Ballet....

Endorsement: Theresa, the kick ass hairstylist!

About 5 months ago, I took the plunge. I let Theresa, my brother's girlfriend of forever, cut off my hair. It went from boring, super long hair to fun stylish awesome bob that was a sure fire compliment getter...and everyone knows I love a compliment. Needless to say, I only let her touch my hair. That is saying a lot since I used to let my Dad cut my hair in the backyard.

Her awesome work:

Before:

After:



Being the great hairstylist that she is, with tons of talent, Theresa entered into the American Idol competition of hair styling. So she is asking for a bit of help and I am happy to oblige. Here is her request:


Dear family and friends,

I need your participation please!!!!!!!!! I am entering the Shu Uemura style design challenge. It works a bit like american idol. I am asking you to please go on the site and check out my style and vote for me. The winner with the most votes wins a trip to Tokyo Japan!!! Plus other exciting opportunites. You are welcome to vote once a day. You are also welcome to forward the link to anyone you know and have them vote. I really would appeciate you helping a sista out. I cant do it without you.

So the object was to create a style showcasing their product called Iron Design. Its best used to curl and straighten hair. Basically, any hot tool. I created a look that was ispired by the fashion runway.........something I wouldnt do in the salon. They want you to be creative and fun! Thats what I did. Enjoy!

Thank you again

xoxoxoxoTheresa

To register and vote by Monday August 4thCHALLENGE - SHU UEMURA contest.To connect with me, just click below:

http://stylechallenge.votigo.com/users/register?sk=fhv%3AlsdP38%3Fu0pl

TheresaPrzybyla



So if you could take a few seconds out of your day (until the 18th...I don't ask for much :D ) to help her out, that would be great. Also, if you are in the Austin area and you want an awesome hair cut, color or style. Look her up at the Jose Luis Salon in downtown. It will be worth it, unless you hate compliments. :)

GayBingo - Not just for the Gays anymore...

It is almost that time again, ladies and gentleman. What time is that? That's right! It is GayBingo Dallas time!!!!

As some of you may know, I am a huge fan of GayBingo. I love the perfomances by the Drag Queens (which may I add, Dallas has some talent!), the crazy energy of the crowd and don't forget half naked boys in Jail. There are drinks galore, awesome costumes and millions of picture opportunties and since I am a self proclaimed member of the paparazzi (I can still be the paparazzi if I only stalk my friends and myself, right?), GayBingo has become one of my personal paradises. It is pratically impossible for anyone not to have a good time.

Mary Beth and I started going to GayBingo last October for one of her birthday celebrations and actually try to make it back every time we are not out of town or already booked for something. Although I haven't won anything yet, except a hangover the next day, I always want to go back for more fun.

Believe it or not but Gaybingo has helped in the Boys Department as well. It helped solidify my marriage to my Gay Husband Casey. :) Let me tell you this is the best marriage I have ever been in (and the only, THANK GOD.) He cooks for me, tells me I am fabulous and also let's me have my own boyfriends. Speaking of boyfriends, I actually met my boyfriend there as well (I will explain later why he was there at a later date. Let's just say it took him 30 min to convince me he really liked girls). That's right Ben and I met because of GayBingo. Nothing screams relationship like meeting a boy while dressed up as a Moulin Rouge dancer, but here we are 6 months later....

Anyway, back to the point of my story. GayBingo is back on August 16th. The theme is Double Wide a.k.a White Trash and we are going with a huge group of people. Casey and I will be hosting a pre white trash bash at our aparments and everyone is invited. So if you wanna go to GayBingo, let me know. The more the merrier. ;)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update: 5 days into my Ghost Banishment and no supernatural experiences. I do not recommend reading anything by Steven King 10 minutes before you go to bed though. Especially if you are home alone. I woke up every hour last night thinking a ghost was trying to get me. I am just happy that my covers were there to protect me.

Do you have more room on that Bandwagon?

Well, here it is. I got my ticket for the bandwagon and am on my way to the world of blogging. After religiously following Mary Beth's blog, Veronica's and others, I decided I wanted to be part of the cool group. So here it is: I am a blogger.

I assure you it won't be nearly as funny as MB (oh yeah, I stole your old blog format. Thanks!), although some of our stories will probably interlap. It won't be filled with as much culture or accidents as Veronica, because I am just not willing to hurt myself for the amusement of other. ;) Hopefully, it will be random and help me figure out what I did last week. So here goes for my first story/blog entry:

I have or had a Ghost living in my apartment last Sunday night. That's right, I am so much fun to hang with that even dead people want to be a part of it. So why exactly is my ghost coming at night? You got me.

So Sunday night, Ben and I decide to go to sleep and are just about to enter the wonderful world of sweet, sweet slumber when I hear crashing in my bathroom. We instantly wake up and Ben being the brave protector that he is turns on all of the lights and searches my 600 and something square foot apartment to find nothing. Alright that's a little weird, nobody was there to kill us....so we turn off lights and try to sleep again.

And that's when I knew it was a ghost. So a couple of hours later, all I know is I am waking up to my bedroom light on. I know for a fact that it was turned off when we went back to sleep but I guess it just didn't want to stay off. There it was glaring at us with its big ol' bright face, waking us up again. Not cool. Although it didn't scare me enough to keep me awake for the rest of the night, I was thinking about it all day Monday at work.

Thank God, I work with Dierdra. She told me to go home and tell the ghost that it wasn't welcome in my aparment and to leave. Followed by the advice of my mom: Please don't hurt me.

As for right now, it is 3 days into my ghost banishment and I have not been awoken by the energy wasting ghost. Good thing too, because I hate paying my electric bill.